Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Boundries in Marriage

My main concerns are usually in regards to my husband and making sure he doesn’t cross boundaries in our relationship, and I that I recognize when he does. I constantly have to be on guard and sometimes document what is said and done to make sure there are no exaggerations. I feel he will take advantage if I let my guard down. That is probably where most of my questions will stem from. Anyway, I hope I can give as well as gain some information here. It sounds like a great group.

It is inevitable that both of you will cross boundaries and exaggerate on issues. There will be a dozen or so double standards on both parts. The key is to learn what they are and recognize them. You can’t make him be less or more than what he is.

You love him for who he is, not who you want or need him to be.

Let him know your fears and what you are doing and he might be able to help you understand him better.

You don’t want to be on guard all of your life or the duration of your relationship. It might sound cruel and mean of me, and I don’t mean it to, but if you don’t trust him then it won’t last long.

Trust is something that is earned, but also something that is forgiven when it is broken. The rule is to be honest and open, but it is very true that rules are made to be broken. We have to forgive the breaking of the rules and go on. It is inevitable that they will be broken and that you both will be hurt, it is how you both deal with fixing the hurt that really counts.

Posted by Tombomy at 01:47:06
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