i hate...
I *hate* to keep burdening you guys with different variations on this theme, but it's driving me crazy.
He entered the relationship not only a bdsm "virgin," but with no pre-existing fascination with the area. I "did without" sexually for six months, "settling" for vanilla-only with this man (which I swore I'd never do, for ANYBODY!, and for damn near 20 years I held the line on this WITHOUT EXCEPTION), even after many long, deep convos on the subject. I found myself wishing that he'd go to some of the meetings of the local bdsm education/support group to learn more, even though for a number of reasons I have chosen not to associate *myself* with the formal/social "Scene" in my geographic area. To which end I started forwarding him my newsletters from this group, which he said he was skimming but without real interest.
Lately our lovemaking has improved dramatically. While it's far from what anyone would categorize as formal s/m, I'm getting a lot more of what I need and he (or so he says) is "not doing anything he doesn't enjoy." Why the long wait? He says it just took time for him to "process" my sexual identification and figure out his own feelings in this area. (BTW, this is entirely plausible. I've seen him do the same thing re other issues, both with myself and with others.)
So here's the problem: Now he announces that while I was out of town, he met a woman online who specifically invited him to the next local group meeting this weekend. I applaud the educational effort, and of course I encouraged him to attend!, but omigod I KNOW what goes on at those "Play Parties" that individual members rent rooms at the hosting hotel for, after the gavel comes down...! Wouldn't it just be a BITCH if I did all the work and put in all the time [patience] opening him up to this subculture, and then lost him to the first goddam cyberfloozy willing to take him up on his new interest...?????
He entered the relationship not only a bdsm "virgin," but with no pre-existing fascination with the area. I "did without" sexually for six months, "settling" for vanilla-only with this man (which I swore I'd never do, for ANYBODY!, and for damn near 20 years I held the line on this WITHOUT EXCEPTION), even after many long, deep convos on the subject. I found myself wishing that he'd go to some of the meetings of the local bdsm education/support group to learn more, even though for a number of reasons I have chosen not to associate *myself* with the formal/social "Scene" in my geographic area. To which end I started forwarding him my newsletters from this group, which he said he was skimming but without real interest.
Lately our lovemaking has improved dramatically. While it's far from what anyone would categorize as formal s/m, I'm getting a lot more of what I need and he (or so he says) is "not doing anything he doesn't enjoy." Why the long wait? He says it just took time for him to "process" my sexual identification and figure out his own feelings in this area. (BTW, this is entirely plausible. I've seen him do the same thing re other issues, both with myself and with others.)
So here's the problem: Now he announces that while I was out of town, he met a woman online who specifically invited him to the next local group meeting this weekend. I applaud the educational effort, and of course I encouraged him to attend!, but omigod I KNOW what goes on at those "Play Parties" that individual members rent rooms at the hosting hotel for, after the gavel comes down...! Wouldn't it just be a BITCH if I did all the work and put in all the time [patience] opening him up to this subculture, and then lost him to the first goddam cyberfloozy willing to take him up on his new interest...?????
