Relationship Help

I think you can tell how anyone will treat anyone by looking at how they act to other people. But this thing with mothers: if someone treats someone "close" badly, it is a sign of that they haven't taken this "close" thing to themselves. That is : they don't handle relations well, but it might also be a personality clash thing, which also might give indications of that they have suffered from their lack of good family relations. I think it definitively is worth the input if one thinks of what it really is.

I've encountered several stories here and there how people get together with people that arose warnings or disturbing behaviors either in history or present time - one word: Don't.

Don't get involved with people who get incontrollable angry. or punches holes in walls. or blame you for things. the list could be made long and also contain "ordinary" things.

My main concerns are usually in regards to my husband and making sure he doesn't cross boundaries in our relationship, and I that I recognize when he does. I constantly have to be on guard and sometimes document what is said and done to make sure there are no exaggerations. I feel he will take advantage if I let my guard down. That is probably where most of my questions will stem from. Anyway, I hope I can give as well as gain some information here. It sounds like a great group.

It is inevitable that both of you will cross boundaries and exaggerate on issues. There will be a dozen or so double standards on both parts. The key is to learn what they are and recognize them. You can't make him be less or more than what he is.

You love him for who he is, not who you want or need him to be.

Let him know your fears and what you are doing and he might be able to help you understand him better.

You don't want to be on guard all of your life or the duration of your relationship. It might sound cruel and mean of me, and I don't mean it to, but if you don't trust him then it won't last long.

Trust is something that is earned, but also something that is forgiven when it is broken. The rule is to be honest and open, but it is very true that rules are made to be broken. We have to forgive the breaking of the rules and go on. It is inevitable that they will be broken and that you both will be hurt, it is how you both deal with fixing the hurt that really counts.